Another Fall

I had a bad fall during training on Thursday.

I hit my head.
I had many falls before, and this one didn't appear to be serious.
But it was somehow different.

Usually I would try to stand up asap after a fall.
This time, it was impossible.
No one knows how ouch it was, except me.

First, it was a sudden impact on my head.
Then the pain crawled along the side of my head, down to my neck and shoulder, until I could not pinpoint where it was exactly.
The side of my head got so heavy that I couldn't do anything, except lying there on my side.

I heard Ah Feng asking me if I was ok.
I tried to speak, but couldn't.
I saw Veron handing me a tissue.
I wanted to reach for it, but couldn't.
The pain was too much for me to take, and I was trying hard to hold back my tears.

If I had landed on my neck, or the back of my head...
*touch wood touch wood*

I wanted to throw up on the way home.
And I had trouble sleeping cos of my neck and shoulder.
Ed was so worried that we almost went to the hospital for a checkup.
He said he wanna be there at the subsequent trainings leading up to cheerobics to ensure I'm safe.
I feel so bad, cos I know he has lotsa work to do, and he has inadequate rest to match that heavy workload of his.

I finally realised no one is responsible for my safety, except myself.
The shadow of this fall is gonna stick around for quite some time.

I feel so depressed.